My hate list...

• Here is my hate list. Some things which annoy me quite easily:
o Ghost stories: the supposedly horror stories never amuse me. As a speaker, one is either totally convinced with the ghost’s existence (and usually swells his eyes enormously and talks in such a slow dramatic manner like ,”Pataaaaheeee main bilkuuul bhiii jhoooot nahi booool rahiii.. aaaaiiiiisssaaaa sachhhh mein huaaaa thaaaa mere saaaaath!” OMG….) or is basically trying to sound ‘heroic’ by making fun of people who get scared and showing courage in not being afraid. Well, a message to the latter ones: You don’t appear heroic but rather silly to be discussing such issues with such interest.
As far as my view on this is concerned, mostly it is just a game of mind. You visualize the things you think about. So, when you are walking alone in a lonely lane surrounded by tall trees in deep night, your mind is already expecting a ghost to swoosh in. The ghost (if you feel the presence) comes only when it is in demand and asked for. After all, “uski bhi koi izzat hai ya nahi?” (Doesn’t he also have some self-respect?) Anyways, not debating on that, even if the ghost does give his guest appearance, why talk about it? I mean if your chacha ke friend ki bhabhi ki behan ka bêta has seen a ghost: Big deal. I mean, you haven’t seen it till now na? Get scared when you see it. Till then relax. And if you have seen it, you should have been scared when you saw it. Why NOW? Ho gaya na scene khatam? (The scene has ended na?) You are fine now, right? END OF DISCUSSION. Why discuss further then?
Lately I have heard a lot of creepy stories about the place I live in. It seems that it is the favourite hang-out for some ghosts. Till the time I don’t encounter anything, I will not comment. BUT YES! It is quite scary to get back to my room in night. NOOOO! Not because of ghosts but because of more bloodcurdling creatures! Yes! You would have probably guessed it right, if you know me. I am talking about Lizards… of various lengths, colours and sizes (gender, caste, creed, race included)
o Typically feminine traits: Though I am very girlie-girlie, there are certain feminine traits which I particularly abhor. For example: Wanting to look good is perfectly fine. You should be nice and presentable. It is obviously revolting to see a dirty unclean girl scratching her scalp and then putting the same hand in her mouth. But what I despise is that some girls more than just wanting to look pretty want people (especially boys) to compliment them throughout the day. I mean, is this really a measure to know how pretty you are? (Hey, have you heard this annoying hindi song which has this line: “cheeti pahad chale marne ke waste, ladki kare make-up ladko ke waste. Don’t know about the first line but the lyricist surely knew what he was writing in the second line!!) It is also sometimes annoying when girls take extra time to dress up putting different layers of cream and foundation and powder and sunscreen and toner and all of that. You boys! Don’t you dare smirk at us. It is equally irritating when you get ready late even if it is because you were watching some idotic football match or sleeping till 8.30 for a programme that was supposed to be attended at 7.
(Oh yes! Going back to girls, some go further and measure their beauty by counting the number of boys who have asked them out. Seriously girls, I am unsure about the level of beauty it calculates, but I am very certain that is surely is a good way to measure how desperate you are. Well, that is not the point I want to discuss. It will take a lot of space)
Next is that is good to be in love and all of that but some foolhardy girls go out of their way to make someone like them. Well, boys do the same (or maybe more) but the difference is that at least they accept that they do like some particular girl and are chasing her. Girls on the contrary never accept it, go for indirect ways to make someone like them and irritatingly say that it was the boy who was chasing her all the while.
And yes, some girls are strange. What they do is tell all their kutti (tamil one and not the hindi one!!! Tamil kutti means minuscule) problems to their guy friends as if they cannot solve their problems on their own. “Oh! I cant do this, I cant do that!” “I don’t know how to book my railway ticket back home.” Seriously girls, you need to grow up. The one you are complaining to, is the same age as you are. If he knows how to do it, so should you. And if you don’t, better try to learn it rather than making a fool of yourself in front of him by letting him know that you aren’t capable of doing even this much. And this cribbing habit gets beyond tolerance when girls tell about all the little eve-teasing they might have experienced to the guys. All those “He was staring at me”, “He was following me”, “Oh god! Somebody gave me a missed call! Who could that be???” in a tense I-am-not-liking-it kind of expression. But obvious your friend has to show concern and when he does so, you move to cloud nine. And usually more is the chance that the girl might just be assuming things rather than they being true. The most extra-ordinary thing about all of this is that in the end the girl enjoys all the attention: from the stranger and from her concerned friend. Receiving the attention already preplanned! GIRLS!
o Class disobedience: I hate it when students come to college, attend classes and don’t pay attention to the teacher and rather start talking to each other intentionally. It is acceptable that sometimes your mind does get diverted and sometimes there are things that you need to tell precisely at that moment. But otherwise you should at least make an attempt to listen to what your teacher is saying. I even agree that sometimes you are extremely tired and involuntarily doze off in between the class for a moment or so, but some students come to the class with the purpose of socializing and sleeping. I really get bugged by what all happens in my class during lectures. One of my friends (or should I say my only friend) hardly even looks at the teacher in the whole hour. She sleeps, she talks, she ‘sms’es, she sketches, cleans her bag (and occasionally finds some of her lost ear-rings for which she exclaims loudly) and if has nothing else to do stares at her feet than looking up till the lecture ends. Well, I am not talking about Pavamani Sir’s 15-minute lecture (including the ten minute long attendance) In his lecture you hardly would understand a thing even if you pay attention: one because he also gets so easily occupied in out-of-the-topic talks and two because even when he is teaching the whole class makes more noise than his voice in the microphone. No offence meant, he is one of the most adjustable, flexible and student-loving professor I have known. So moving back to the topic, I am not talking about flippant lectures, but the serious ones. I consider that people should pay attention in the lectures if not out of respect for their teachers but for their self-respect. They should respect the choice they have made for their career and pay attention but for their own sake, to respect their decision.
Anyways, let me finish this post. For now, these two points are enough to get me beaten up by many (Including my only friend). I pray God and beg you all to spare me. It is not me, it is SHE who is writing. Remember who? Read this post and you will know.

Bijleee Bola!

Hey readers! I was imagining what it would be like to become our college fest’s mascot! Bijlee-the bulb! It would be so cool. The bright yellow colourful bijlee with a 220watt smile (pun intended). Mr. Bijlee has many reasons to be our mascot. First of all, it spreads light and we as communication students will be spreading the light of knowledge and news through our fest (I am not very certain about this being a reason). Secondly, we have come up with this publicity stunt called “Power-off for an hour” to attract people through social causes. Well, I found it quite ironical to keep our mascot “bijlee-a bulb” and then contradicting ourselves by switching off our mascot. And bulb also being a synonym for dumb fools, we are somehow suggesting that we are as dumb as a bulb. However, since I hardly participate in A-19 meetings (and when I do, I simply remain wordless and not utter a word like an idiot), I should not be critical to those who actually work so hard for it. So anyways, today I was thinking about this bijlee thing and some points struck my mind which I wanted to write about. Hmm.. Well they need to be edited but these are just tentative ideas that could be worked upon and used as a base to build a blog-post in our bijlee blog.
I consider that power-off for an hour will be more of an unbearable nuisance to many to actually appreciate the cause. But we can still get some points by saying, a big star is coming down to share his ‘electrifying personality’ with you and hence you would not be needing power for an hour. The star will be there to illuminate you in his presence and shower the ‘light’ of stardom upon you!!!!
Why will any fan of Rahul Bose have a problem after listening to this rhyme?

Ladies and Gentlemen, Stand on your toes,
And get ready to strike a pose,
Coz here comes Rahul Bose,

You don’t need to get his attention by throwing him a rose,
Just support the cause, Rahul bose chose,
And if you don’t, just blink and there your chance goes.
Then later please don’t come to us with your woes.

And here is another excruciating rhyme. (You don’t have to go through this torture. It is ok if you choose to close my blog now, I would not mind. It is just that I would suddenly develop an inexplicable inability to recognize you and you might just be a victim of few harmless kicks and punches (totally harmless, unless you consider the blue-black marks) but that is all. You know it has no connection to you closing my blog without completing the post. I mean, why would I be offended in such a childish way?!?). Yeah so here goes the rhyme!! I hope you are continuing your read for your own good! (Read it in the tune of the song anjali anjali anjali, china kannmani kanmani kanmani)

Junglee Junglee Junglee
Humara, Bijlee Bijlee Bijlee
Junglee Junglee Junglee
Humara, Bijlee Bijlee Bijlee
Iska mooh gola gola
Isne sabka dimag khola khola
Junglee Junglee Junglee
Humara, Bijlee, Bijlee Bijlee -2
Isko work pressure se hatake zara,
Khidki sabne abhi khola
Junglee Junglee Junglee
Humara Bijlee Bijlee Bijlee -2
Bijlee khush hua hua,
Usne sabko thank you bola
Jungle Junglee Junglee
Humara bijlee bijlee bijlee!!!! -2

Well this was all written a week ago. Today as we were practicing for our street-play for the power-off stunt, somebody told the person enacting our mascot bijlee, “Eh! You are supposed to be Mr. Bijlee and so you can not dance”. I mused that as a matter of fact he could! Why? Babuji zara dheere chalo, bijli khadi yaha bijli khadi!!! And surely that bijli was able to dance!!!!

Hmm… I know: silly thoughts. I have one more to share with you. But somehow didn’t want to include it with other points. So here it is. Basically I saw the movie “luck by chance” today. Suppose, somebody got trapped in a lift during our power-off thingy, he would be saying “Stuck by chance”! ok… not funny, is it? It is perfectly ok if you don’t find it funny. Perhaps a few broken joints will relocate your sense of humour in place. Laugh. Or else I will have to make you laugh. And you definitely know it is unwanted trouble.

P.S. Got the concept clearly today about our mascot. Actually we are'nt switching off our mascot but pleading people to stop misusing our dear mascot the way they do!

belated birthday wishes!

Hey bloggy!!! Am soooo sorry!!!! I didnt wish you on your birthday!!!!
Belated Happy Dappy Birthday! I know am very late but I love you. Sorrrrry....
6th was the day you were born! The best thing about this is you are also an aquarian!! See how similar we are! Look at the compatibilty...
Loadsssss of love!
Gayatri!!!

My Birthday!!!

Yay! It is my birthday today. Have turned 19 now. (Whoa! That’s a big number, isn’t it?) Just a year of teenage left for me now.
However, like always, I was more lost in the past than in the present. Was recalling the days of childhood when birthdays were such a big deal. There was always the craze for going to school: not in regular uniforms but in “birthday dresses”, distributing toffees to your classmates after the birthday song had been sung and then proceeding to distributing toffees to the teachers of the whole school by going to each and every class and also the staff-rooms, with your best friend accompanying you. The best part was you got to bunk the first period completely in this “toffee-distribution ritual”, plus you got to choose between all your friends who gets to come along with you, amidst all their pleading requests to be the “one”!
I still remember super-rich kids used to sometimes give away “dairy-milks” and if we were lucky enough they showered us with goodies like pencil, rubber, scale, sharpener, crayons and sometimes even a compass box! Wow! Imagine: giving such things to the whole class would have cost them a heavy amount. Surely, I will never spoil my kids to this extent. Hmm… Though I would definitely pamper them, but I would not tolerate this kind of distribution in his/her friend circle of goodies that they can easily afford. It is more like a show-off. And definitely I know of better ways of making my kids popular! *wink* *wink*
What I am talking now??? This was not I had begun with. So yeah, birthdays! The birthday gusto doesn’t end there. The over-crowded birthday parties at home, the new dress, birthday cake, blowing the candles, the festoons decorations, the yummy food and of course the GIFTS were always thrilling. As a kid, everyone is fond of gifts, however pointless they might be. The excitement of guessing what might be inside the shiny gift wrapper was so wonderful. I remember secretly forcing other kids to bring gifts for coming to the party. Hehehe! Demands, I say. Even then, the demands used to so innocent and straight from the heart. It is not that kids pretend that they don’t want anything when they do want it. (C’mon, don’t you dare disagree- who doesn’t like gifts and surprises. A well thought of and useful gift shows how much one means to the others; though it is not the only way of expressing it) I feel so funny to think I used to ask for Barbie dolls from my mom for each of my birthdays for such a long time.
Yeah! So much of fun for the whole 24hours when you feel that world spins for you and would stop doing so if you command. And it is not just one self’s birthday that a person enjoys. Going to birthday parties was equally fun.
Hmm… birthdays are so much of fun. Your one special day out of the three hundreds. I have had 19 such special days till now and I love each one of them (even if I don’t remember some). Yes! And to think of my first birthday video! Oh! It was lovely. I want to see it again now. When I watched it a decade ago I cried seeing the little me cry in the video when my ears were being pierced. Now I will have two reasons for watching the video: one is to see what my first birthday was like and second is to relive the memory of the day I cried seeing it some years later and screaming “how could you have done this to me? What was the need of piercing my ears? I don’t need earrings to look pretty. I am as beautiful with them as without them! (Who says my conceit evolved just out of nowhere. It was always there!)
So those who still haven’t wished me, WISH ME!!!! How can you be so shameless to get time to read my blog but not wish me.

The trouble of finding myself speechless

First of all, if you by chance stumbled into this site through google, looking for solutions to cure your stammering problem, I am sorry. I am no Baba Khede with miraculous tricks to help you with your stammering problem. I wish I was of any help, but sadly am not. I hope you get over your stammering soon. Thank you for visiting this site, you increased my readership number. You can continue your search.
Hmm… so other regular readers! Hii.. So here is something you all might already have noticed. But here you can find me accepting it. I have a problem, a BIG PROBLEM actually. Haven’t you noticed that I stammer a lot? I know, I know you are nodding. Well, actually it is not what this post is going to about, I didn’t know how exactly to start writing what I was to write. And the stammering thing, well, I am quite happy with it. My mom says those people who stammer are very lucky. And I can easily see it being true!
So to continue (read: begin) about what I was to write, I just wanted to tell that my stammer is not my real problem. The BIG problem I mentioned earlier. The problem is that I am very poor in updating my vocabulary. No, you have definitely got me wrong. It is that I don’t absorb the new words which gradually come out of nowhere and become very popular. I seem to be stuck with the initial set of words my parents or my sisters taught me. Confused na? Let me clear. It is like, for instance, I might use an outdated word to describe a certain thing and not the word everybody would use. Like, when a girl comes all dressed up or when you see a wonderful car, I would end up saying, WOW! You are looking nice! Or WOW! Lovely car!!! You see, plain words: ‘nice’ ‘lovely’. Other people would make it sound fantabulous by adding words like ‘hot’ or ‘sexy’.
And it is not just with such words which make me embarrassed. I don’t even feel comfortable in using phrases like ‘all that jazz’ and all of that. I don’t know why. You might even laugh if I tell you that I was even embarrassed with the ‘pappu cant dance saala’ song. I was like: “Chee, what a silly song!’
And other abuses? Well, sometimes when I get really very very angry, I sometimes try saying one of those “kutta-kameena” within and then feel so awkward using such words that finally end up feeling guilty. And hi-fi abuses! Well, it might amuse you, but whenever somebody uses such words I hardly mind. Why? Because somehow for me those words still haven’t registered in my mind. So those words would be like any heavy-accented language I don’t know. “Je ne mange pas viande” will sound same to me as those words. (yes, in spite of taking French that is the condition. How do they twist their tongues to much? This language sounds absurd. And people call it one of the most romantic languages?!?!!?HUH?!?!?!)
So far so good. But the problem comes when I get no proper words to describe a particular thing and end up stammering a lot before using an inappropriate word. And this is also the reason for my highly animated talks. I mean, whatever I miss with my words, I try covering it up with expressions and actions. Tell, is anything wrong in that? No na? Good! But yeah, people are quite familiar with MY set of words. Right? Why doesn’t everybody start using my vocabulary for Gayatri’s sake! Yeah. Afterall, being me, I should be given such preferences, isn’t it? Afterall, Gayatri is not everybody. For her, it is a big thing to herself only.

I still love u bloggy!

Hey dear bloggy! Here is a little confession. I can’t take the guilt anymore. I have hidden something from you.
Since two-three months you have been doubtful about me being away from you. Yes I have been infrequent in attending you. And the reason was, I have another blog. (Background music?!?!)
(In a high pitched voice): Yes! Yes! Yes! Another blog. Which is why I don’t get enough time to be with you. But you can’t call it cheating on you either. It is legal to have more than one blogs. My only fault was hiding it from you, but the reason was I wanted the other blog to be totally personal. “duniya ke qatil nazaro se bachana tha use.” I share things with the other blog which you are completely unaware about. And I want it to be like that. You must understand why, because you know my family and a few friends and it is hence a little risky to tell you everything. Of course I trust you, but you are quite gullible.
But this still doesn’t mean I love you any less. You are as precious to me as you were before. You are my bitter-brains and the other one is my sweet-heart. See, you are quite different from each other isn’t it? One more thing I want to tell you, or more precisely ask your permission for (without your consent I would not do it) about creating one more blog for my poems. I promise I will be more regular with you from now on and you would never be reminded of my other blogs. I just need your support for that. You have to accommodate other blogs and compromise a bit. Better, you should try treating them like your sister. It will become easier for me then. You see, “saali toh hoti hai aadhi ghar-wali.” We can all stay peacefully and happily this way. It would be so good then. I would almost feel like those ancient kings with countless number of wives. Only that, the world has changed in modern times and it is the queen who enjoys such privileges. (and not wives, I am referring to BLOGS!)

This is the future!!

OMG!!! Congratulate ME!!!! I just noticed that after all the not-so-strenuous, laid-back work, I have finally made half a century of blog posts! Oh my dear bloggy! Happy Golden Jubilee to you! And also Happy New Year!!! I suppose it is a great period for you! So what is your new year resolution bloggy? (You dont like your new name, Ahh... I will change it! How about bloggu? What?? You never seem to appreciate any of the things I do for you) Never mind, the readers will be happy to know about your new year resolutions, why dont you share it with them? Nah! Ohh.. He is too shy of audience. Cant help it, it was me who spoilt my baby! (Now dont you say that you dont approve of this name either?!?! How can it sound so pampered to you? Even so, arent you pampered? You were always a delicate creature. Look at yourself, you arent even confident enough to share your new year resolutions with our scanty audience?)
So anyways, my baby (dont give me those looks) has made a resolution to work harder and complete its century a lot more quicker. And also open up a little bit and make more friends in the blogosphere. I mean other bloggers hardly come to visit him. Never mind.
Anyways as for me, I havent thought of an resolutions yet. I dont stick to year’s end for such things anyways. Many such resolutions are made (though seldom followed) every now and then. For instance, I thought of writing more meaningful posts from now on, but am I doing it? Improving someone as disdainful and pedantic as me is quite a tough job. Oh no! Did you say I am far too perfect for improvisation. Good that you said so, I would not have liked stating it myself.
You by now would have clearly understood that I actually have nothing to write but still doing so. Actually that was to clear off the accusations that I am being ignorant towards my bloggy! (Oh alright my blog)
Hmm... A new year does make you envision your future. How about if I say my imagination went far beyond. I mean, thinking of about two three decades from now or even more. There will be a time (hopefully) a lot more developed than this present day and during such time, I will be reminiscing my days of youth, comparing it with the youth of my grandchildren and telling about the differences. My luxuries would sound merely as days of hardship, difficulty and discomfort to them. Nevertheless, it would rather be amusing. Wasnt it always amusing to hear your grandmother talk of her old days?!?!
Here is how I will go off recalling my golden days. I would say:
“You know in our days, we used to use cycles for transport than for merely reducing weight. Our cycles used to move and were not stationary as they are now.” And those astounded children would be speechless!
“ Internet was a luxury when I was a kid. Only few people had internet with only some of them having it 24X7. In those days, many used to go to the cyber cafes to check their mails.” For that my grandchildren might exclaim with horrified looks.
“In our days, we used to manage with ‘just’ Rs.5000 per month as our pocket money.” They might perhaps faint on hearing this.
“I was given a mobile phone only after I was 14. Some people got it only after joining college! And yeah, earlier there were also mobiles without cameras or music player and sometimes were black and white” I would further explain to clear their unasked question of how I used to communicate with my friends without a mobile and internet by saying “We used to call on landlines meant to be used by the whole family”. They might look at me reverently for being so accommodating and for using a common phone.
“We used to have frequent power-cuts in those days. Sometimes, power-cuts were scheduled for hours together!” and thus enjoy the look of my open-mouthed children, unable to take that fact in.
I would melodramatize it a bit to make it sound a terrible experience and say, “A.Cs were a luxury in our times. Not everybody could afford it. Instead we used to bear the heat with a mere substitute of fans and coolers”. They will surely find it an unfathomable fact!
“In our days a lot of two-wheelers were used and many who didnt have it used to travel in public buses and auto-rickshaws!” I think I shall hear a big and disgusting ewwwwww for it from them.
I shall still continue harking them back to my days and add further astonishing pieces of past saying, “In our country, many did not have a laptop or even a personal computer in their houses or even a whole locality had no access to it.”
“In early times we used to use cameras with reels. Digital cameras came much later for us.” Perhaps they might put up a sympathetic expression for me on such a revelation.
I might even hear a big disagreement or “Really” from them if I tell them that romantic relationships were more often forbidden and children used to hide such relationships from their parents until a reasonable age of marriage. And many a times, parents did not approve of their children’s choice and force him/her with an arranged marriage. Sometimes, in some families girls were restricted from talking to boys too.
They might not even believe that in our times, in some rural areas girls werent literate and were only house-wives. I might even be looked upon as an encyclopedia if I told them about the emancipation of women and related stuffs.
“And you know what! Even in summers we used to wear CLOTHES! Yes, more than just under-garments dear! Long clothes. Ohh not your stringy see-through dress baby! Long clothes which didnt reveal anything. At least not as much. Period. Phew!
“Oh my god! Gays and lesbians were only a joke for us and that too much later in the 21st century. Even then, we used to regard it quite unreal and it was only a source of humour for us. Who knows I would even have to add this “Oh dont give me such rebellious looks boy. I have no problem with your boyfriend.”
“Umm... And you know this language ‘hindi’ was one of the most common language in India and was also our national language.” And with their desperate want to hear me speak the language and much persuasion, I would proudly teach them a few words of Hindi.
“Yes.. Those words which you use in your rap songs like ‘ram’, ‘hare’ and ‘allah’ ‘mary’ were actually considered to be Gods. And we used to have riots everywhere over their faith. For which they would immediately wail, “Oh paati! GOD! Not such superstitions pleeeease!”
“In our generation those flying wings werent invented. The dives of batman, superman or spiderman were for us heroic and something totally unbelievable. As a matter of fact they were done only through animation.
“And yes, we all used to live only in the earth. Living outside the planet was unimaginable to us.”

Well, then a decade later, they wouldnt even listen to any of this. They might say, “Paati,you dont need to tell us all of this. We can go back 40 years back to see how it was if we want!
Well hope this does happen! I know half of it is more than just exaggerated and couldnt possibly happen, but who knows, my successors might laugh at all of us for thinking that it aint possible.