The Imperfect Beauty

She considered herself to be ugly. She cribbed saying she had the most unattractive mix of the most unprepossessing features. To her, her hair was unmanageable, she had hideously small (‘chinki’) eyes which were disproportionate to her bloated up face with never-going dark circles and for the unpleasantly bony figure that she had, she detested the chubby cheeks she had (I mean, how could have God so menacingly dislocated the placement of the adipose flabs) And to add to all of that, her lips weren’t even pink and she didn’t posses the perfect set of teeth which she could flash in every photo. I was taken aback at her description of herself. I was seeing her in new light for I had never noticed any of the “imperfections” she just claimed to have. But even then, noticing her I couldn’t help but notice that she was pretty. Talking of features, how could she have forgotten the cute dimples she got whenever she smiled? And to mention her eyes, I agree they were small but very cutely so. There is no way you could call such a pair of gleaming eyes plain. They had the sparkle that could just bewitch many with just a glance. And the thick set of eyelashes made the eyes look prettier still. Such wonderfully long eyelashes she had that they actually got reflected in her own jet-black eye-balls when you looked deeper in there. And for the dark-circles, Oh! I always thought that she used to brush her eyes up everyday with a wonderful shade of eye-colour! Her high-cheek bones were in no way chubby and even if they were, it gave her such a lovely heart-shaped face-cut which so beautifully defined how she is as it was a manifestation of her heart glowing right there at you. Yes her lips weren’t pink but thankfully so. The deep crimson shade she naturally had didn’t require a coat of lip-gloss everyday. My heart used to skip a beat when her lips looked so succulently pretty even when she was least aware of it. She would be happily eating some oily junk-food at some roadside chat-point and even the rancid oil would appear as the best lip-gloss one could have. And the smile, such a bright innocent smile she possessed, it was just too difficult to fathom that she would think an imperfect set of teeth will make even slightest of difference to that. And then I loved how her curls would occasionally fall on her face which she complained to be unmanageable. And not just the face, the puny bony figure she wasn’t in favour of gave her the prettiest jewellery to accessorize herself with: her eye-catching collar bone! To me, she was pretty and that was how I had known her. Listening to her grumbling criticism, I couldn’t help but notice that YES! Right in front of me, there was the biggest of the flaws which even she, an observant scrutinizing critic of pulchritude had failed to notice: Her MINDSET. That was the biggest (and actually the only) wrong I could see. And this flaw made everything else look so negligibly pretty. This flaw had taken her breath-taking smile away without which the dimples ceased to appear, the magnificent sparkle from her eyes and actually made her what she never wanted herself to be. Yes, it was only her image of herself as ugly which made her helplessly so!




PS- One more thing that came into my mind. The "smiley" faced emoticons. If you think of it even they are a combination of ugly featues. ROUND face with a sick pale shade of the colour of poop! And yet they are the cutest thing you use to express yourself with! AND why? because their smile makes so much of a difference making them soooo pleasant! In the end, they are the cooolest andthe happiest thing!

Hmm.... love?!?!

I have tried countless times to express myself
Though still never found it reciprocated
I tried breaking open from my inhibited shell
And yet love has always kept me isolated.

Love has made itself seem like a fantasy
Something that doesn’t happen in real
Something that I am yet to see,
Believe in and feel deep inside me.

I am clueless how I can make someone fall in love with me
Or fall in love with someone who showers me with love,
For till now, love has never “just” happened unknowingly,
And yet knowing that it is how it is supposed to be.

I make myself believe that I am in love with someone,
And whole-heartedly that is what I try to do,
Until one day, I am forced to see my belief undone
For I hardly matter to him and I want him to love me too.

Sometimes, by the time I let my feelings out,
I realise that he waited for long and now I am late,
Sometimes, just to make sure that doesn’t happen,
I let it out fast and am considered desperate.

And then how am I not supposed to be excessively careful,
In making sure that he is truly the one for me.
Not analyse but feel the love that is so magically wonderful
When such wonders never materialise into reality?

Oh! This feeling!

Oh! I wish I wasn’t hopelessly in love with you,
For I don’t even know if you love me too,
All I can manage now is to let you know
That you mean a lot to me, even if I don’t let it show.

I can’t make you fall in love with me,
But neither can I just let it be,
I just keep hoping that you feel the same,
Or at least grow a liking for me suddenly.

I don’t know how to take it further on the way,
Tell you directly or wait for you to say,
I don’t really mind waiting, if you don’t want to hurry,
You can take all the time you want without any worry.

I will keep all this to myself if you want it so,
But please don’t ask me to forget you and let it go,
Because it is not that I haven’t tried giving up the hope,
But for what I do, I just can’t help but let the feeling grow.

I don’t know where exactly am I going wrong,
For you haven’t realized that I have been liking you all along,
Is it that it’s not worth trying for,
Or is there somebody else who likes you more?

If the options are keeping you confused,
And it’s really hard for you to choose,
You feel that there is somebody better you can find,
Let go off me, I am just ordinary, I won’t mind.

But if at all, there comes a day when you feel blue,
I will give you all the comfort you need to pull you through,
When you need support, I will hold your hand,
And when you need time for yourself I will understand.

Oh! I wish I wasn’t hopelessly in love with you,
For I don’t even know if you love me too.
And these uncertainties keep me puzzled,
I really am left answerless to what I am holding on to.