Hmm.... love?!?!

I have tried countless times to express myself
Though still never found it reciprocated
I tried breaking open from my inhibited shell
And yet love has always kept me isolated.

Love has made itself seem like a fantasy
Something that doesn’t happen in real
Something that I am yet to see,
Believe in and feel deep inside me.

I am clueless how I can make someone fall in love with me
Or fall in love with someone who showers me with love,
For till now, love has never “just” happened unknowingly,
And yet knowing that it is how it is supposed to be.

I make myself believe that I am in love with someone,
And whole-heartedly that is what I try to do,
Until one day, I am forced to see my belief undone
For I hardly matter to him and I want him to love me too.

Sometimes, by the time I let my feelings out,
I realise that he waited for long and now I am late,
Sometimes, just to make sure that doesn’t happen,
I let it out fast and am considered desperate.

And then how am I not supposed to be excessively careful,
In making sure that he is truly the one for me.
Not analyse but feel the love that is so magically wonderful
When such wonders never materialise into reality?